From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I stole a fireplace last night.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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