i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
