Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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