Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
