I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
