Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
