i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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