I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
