fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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