So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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