Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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