1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
