hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
