Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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