Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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