I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize