who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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