Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
