That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My first STD was from a foam party
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
