And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
