I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
