it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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