plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
