is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
