I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
