writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
whose parrot is this?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
