we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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