Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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