so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
