I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
