I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
