I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
