i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
