Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
