i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
