I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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