i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
