Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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