Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
