hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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