Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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