it wasn't lemon gatorade
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
