Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
