how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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