Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
