new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
