i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize