haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
