she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
