I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The feeling are messing with the penis
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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