all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize