you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
