question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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