I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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