when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
