We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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