your parents love me but you hate me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
