Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize