My nipple is on Facebook.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
