I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
