you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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