dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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