Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
