We're like a lot better than the average bears
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
A+ Viking dick
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
