My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
