Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
